Tag: advice

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How To Be An Optimist

There’s a saying: We make plans; God laughs.

Whether or not you believe in God, truth of the matter is that we’re not in control of our lives. If you think you are, just wait. One day you’ll see what I’m talking about. Certainly we have to make plans and decisions to tackle day-to-day life, but occasionally the gods/stars/planets/marshmallows fall out of line and all goes astray. Marshmallows? Ok, who knows what has to align, but how you respond to unfortunate situations is what really matters.

It is possible that once or twice in mylifetime I might have been accused of being a pessimist. Only in the last few years (under the loving tutelage of my husband) have I learned how to turn limes into margaritas. In the past three years, we have spent about six months in Costa Rica. In the past few weeks, I have had several chances to whip up a pitcher of optimism.

Let me offer you a taste test:

1) If you hate tarantulas, but happen to find a fine example of one in your bathroom when you are home alone, killing it with a broom handle will give you an enormous sense of accomplishment.
2) If you have trouble digesting gluten, you will find that a caveman’s diet (meat and fruits and vegetables) is very healthy. Man lived like this for thousands of years–yes, without pizza or beer.
3) If you create anything (e.g., a novel) on a computer, and said computer gets stolen, you will learn the absolute necessity of backing up your work.
4) If said thieves steal ALL your electronics, but spare your life and limbs, you are one lucky sonofabitch.
5) Once said thieves have fractured your sense of goodness in the world, you will learn to be safer and smarter. In fact, you will learn to hire a security guard with a shotgun.
6) If you love, love, love to sit quietly in the morning, sipping amazingly delicious coffee while over looking the Pacific Ocean, but said security guard wants to tell you all about his life and his country-in Spanish–because he has spent the last 12 hours walking the perimeter of your villa while you watched David Letterman in subtitles and got eight refreshing hours of sleep, then you will learn that your guard might be the best Spanish teacher you will ever have.
7) If you wake up one morning to the smell of smoke from the wildfires approaching your villa, you will learn how the infrastructure of a country such as Costa Rica actually works: Do it yourself, and help your neighbors. What did you think the damn garden hoses were for anyway?
And lastly,
8 ) If you think that The Good Life involves a villa, an ocean, tropical weather, and tequila, you will learn that there’s no place like home. AND, all of the above can be excellent material for your next novel.

Adios, Costa Rica.

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Aspirers vs. Emergers

If any readers of my blog are not yet aware of Kristen Lamb’s blog and book, We Are Not Alone: The Writer’s Guide To Social Media, here is a strong recommendation to make yourself aware.

Aspiring Writer: one who sits alone for hours, typing her bleeding heart through her keyboard onto a blank page while dreaming of her novel being displayed on the front table of her local Barnes and Noble, or better yet, the one on 5th Avenue.

Emerging Writer: one who sits alone for hours typing at her computer but has learned not to use words like “bleeding heart”; one who follows sage advice, creates a platform, interacts with professionals and constantly works to become a better writer.

At any stage of the writing game—and according to Paul Auster it just gets worse as one becomes more successful—it seems vital, despite JD Salinger’s approach, to maintain active and healthy communication with other people. Writers, readers, agents, publishers, friends, they all play a part in sanity. (That’s sanity, not insanity.) Kristen Lamb is a no-nonsense guide to getting one’s name out there and preventing the feeling of being a lone writer. (That is, a writer who’s alone, not the only writer in the world.)

One of my core values is persistence. Kristen’s blog post today is about luck vs. persistence. This ought to separate the “aspirers” from the “emergers.”

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Getting My Groove Back

Today I opened the files for my fourth novel for the first time in two months. It’s a little like reconnecting with old friends on Facebook. In other words, who the heck are these people and what the heck is going on in their lives?

For the past two months, I was finalizing (researching, rewriting and polishing) my third novel, Honorable Lies, which is now in Queryland with 13 agents. Well, I sent letters to 13 agents (because that number has always been lucky for me), but two have already said they are so proud of me, and pleased that I would give them the chance, but that they are unfortunately unable to represent my work. Hmmm. That’s okay, I only need one, and he/she is still out there.

You know the sage advice, “Write every day”? That’s so you don’t forget your own children characters. I had written 20,000 words of A Reasonable Price before I went back to finish up my last novel, and it’s going to take a while for me to remember exactly what these peoples’ demons and goals are. Fortunately, I have this novel outlined, start to finish, and I have copious notes to use as reference. This is the first time I’ve been so thorough on the outline, and I’m very glad to have all these notes to suck me right back into the tempest I have brewing in my hard drive. If you’re one who’s not able to write every day, this might be exactly the tack to take so you can re-immerse yourself at a moment’s notice.

Or maybe I’ll switch things up a bit now that I’m older and wiser. Either way, it’s good to be back.

 

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Steve Jobs and Me

Let me start by saying I never met Steve Jobs; I wish I had, but that’s beside the point. Like millions of others, his life’s work has greatly influenced mine. I’d like to say that I would write books even if I had only pencil and paper, or only a typewriter. I might, but I’m not sure. But why Steve Jobs, in particular?

I didn’t become an Apple fanatic until 2007. Like so many others, my business ran on Windows products so I thought the conversion would be overwhelming. It wasn’t until I closed my art gallery and bought a laptop with the express idea of writing a novel (a fresh start) that I felt no barrier to switching products. I have been writing for four years now, yet I’m still not published. A good friend with a good heart recently asked me why I’m not published when so many other people are. I made a few self-effacing jokes and thought I’d let that comment die… and yet I can’t.

Malcolm Gladwell is famous for extolling the notion that it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert in any given field. Because I was not an English major in college (even though reading, writing and academia have been a major influence on my entire life), I believed that I needed to put in five years of writing before I could hope to be good enough to be published. Time will tell. But the death of Steve Jobs reinforces that fact. No one begins with perfection.

Looking back, the first Macintosh computer now looks like a dinosaur, a laughable relic. The iMac on which I now type is sleek, elegant and sophisticated—a masterpiece. Yet if Steve Jobs had never released the original Macintosh, this computer would not exist. Nor would the current iPhone, Nano, or iPad.

Why am I not yet published? Because I am not yet as good as Ann Patchett or Jonathan Franzen. I am hypercritical of my work and anxious for it to be better. I’m also kind of shy. Stretching out of my comfort zone to pitch a novel that isn’t as good as (insert any literary masterpiece here) stops me from sending out the quantity of query letters necessary to find the right agent to rep me. Instead, I finish a novel (I’ve completed three), send out a few queries, then immediately start on my next story knowing it will be better, it will be good. My standard of good enough is as high as Steve Jobs’ must have been, but it apparently didn’t hold him back and I cannot let it hold me back.

In 2005, Jobs gave a now-famous commencement address to the graduates of Stanford University. In that speech he said, “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” I love writing. I am confident that I will be published, and thanks to Steve Jobs, I will no longer be shy about what I have created. My first published work will probably not be the great American novel; that’s okay. The important factor is where it will lead me.

With enough love, persistence and luck, maybe one day I will write a novel that is as delicious as an Apple.