Author: karolynsherwood

writer (mainstream fiction), mom (four grown sons), wife (perfect husband), blogger (all of the above)(but mostly writing)
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The Best Books on Writing

Ask any writer what books on writing they would recommend to others and you’re bound to get Stephen King’s On Writing and Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird.

Fair enough, those are both great books. But, hello? They are not the best books for craft.

Over the past five years, I’ve been teaching myself how to write. I call it a self-inflicted MFA. I’ve written nearly every day (just like King and Lamott told me to) for one to eight hours a day, plus I’ve read a few hundred books, many of them on the skill of writing well. It’s definitely harder than it looks.

One thing that seems obvious in our bottom-line, cash-is-king world, is that the story trumps the skills. If someone has a killer $tory, a publisher will buy it, and so will the public. We all know who I’m talking about (ahem, Stephenie Meyer and E.L. James). (And yes, I know, they’re laughing at my list on the way to their Swiss Chalets.)

For those of us who want to be proud of our writing, who truly care about lyrical phrases and sympathetic characters, here is my list of recommended books on writing. (I have no reason to endorse these books other than I found them to be the most helpful. I am not getting paid for recommending them.)

1. The Elements of Style, by Strunk and White: This is not just an old reference book. If a person wants to begin writing, or is trying to figure out why their writing is getting rejected, this is the book to read first. These are the basic rules of the craft.

2. Story Engineering, by Larry Brooks: This book might be a bit controversial; it’s certainly arguable. Ok, here’s my argument: This book teaches the structure of a novel. If a writer considers herself to be an “organic writer,” and likes to let the words flow, let the story tell itself thru her fingertips, she ain’t gonna like this book. I still say read it, and keep Brooks’s ideas in the back of your head as you formulate your book as a whole. Brooks delineates the nine milestones every successful novel must have, just as Blake Snyder did in Save the Cat, a similar book for writing screenplays. Unfortunately, Larry Brooks seems overly defensive about his theory/opinions which nearly undercuts his idea… but I still think the structure of a novel is vital.

3. How Fiction Works, by James Wood: You’re going to have to have your thinking cap on for this deceivingly simple little book. This is possibly the most dense, erudite, non-fiction book I’ve ever read, but it was well worth the effort. The book covers 123 separate instructions. Buy the book, and even if it takes years to get through it all, read Numbers 7 – 16 on Free Indirect Style, and Number 119 on Hypotyposis (yeah, now you get the part about your thinking cap.) Buy the book.

4. Hooked, by Les Edgerton: Ok, so if you are a writer, or you want to write, you probably have a rough draft of a novel, or maybe short story by now. If, after you’ve read the first three books on this list, you’re still not sure your book’s going to sing, read this one. Every writer loves her characters, cares deeply about them—otherwise how could she spend months if not years telling their story. But how does a writer make an agent care? An agent will never read more than one (maybe five) pages of a submission if he/she doesn’t love your characters immediately. Edgerton tells you how to hook the reader on page one, and two, and three… You get the picture, now buy the book.

5. Self-editing for Fiction Writers, by Renni Browne and Dave King: True story here: I bought this book several years ago, thumbed through it, then placed in on my shelves in perfect alphabetical order among my writing reference books. Recently, I attended the Jackson Hole Writers’ Conference in order to further hone my craft. It cost me nearly $2500, but it was a wonderful, valuable experience. And the most valuable thing I learned? Read this book, the one I’ve had on my shelf for years. (Doh!) This book finally explained how to separate third person POV from omniscient POV, something I’d been screwing up all these years. And that’s just for starters.

Now, anyone who knows anything about the publishing industry will tell you that it’s all a big crapshoot. An MFA grad from the Iowa Writers’ Workshop might never publish a book as successful as The Help. Heck, I doubt Stephenie Meyer has read any of the books on my list, yet her story idea was a goldmine.

So what’s the real secret? No one really knows, unless… Wait, maybe this list of books is the secret, and no one has ever written it before because they’re trying to cut down on the competition! Oops.

Have you read any of these books? Do you agree, disagree? What books would you add to the list? Maybe there’s one more book on writing out there that I should read.

A P.S.  from Yours Truly: When I originally posted this post, a lovely reader named Cynthia Robertson (see below) suggested Francine Prose’s Reading Like a Writer. I have since read that book and I would definitely include it in my list of Best Books on Writing. I don’t want to eliminate any of the above, so I now have six books in my top five! I can do that because it’s my blog. Read it and I think you’ll agree! Thanks, Cynthia!

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The Power of Networking

I’ve long been a proponent of the adage: It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

When I was an art dealer, I represented about forty very talented artists, but some were much more successful than others. It wasn’t that they were more talented, it’s just that there’s more to success than talent. The three components to success, I believe, are talent, ambition and luck. It’s like a pie cut into three slices: the size of each slice may vary, but together they make up a whole. If someone is very talented, but they have no ambition, they probably won’t go anywhere, unless they get very lucky and happen to meet the one right person that will change their life. In the case of an artist, that person might be a wealthy and well-connected collector, or a museum director or curator, or an enthusiastic art dealer. Another artist might be very ambitious but need to work on his or her skills before s/he finds success. The third possibility is someone who is so naturally talented that with very little effort, they get incredibly lucky, and boom. Overnight success.

In light of this example, I feel lucky to have been found by Melani Ward. No, she’s not a lit agent nor does she own a publishing company, but she seems exactly like the kind of woman who is good to know. Melani is writing a book about making career changes after 40, and she found me by way of an essay I wrote that was published on More Magazine’s website titled “Opportunity is the Mother of Reinvention.”

A certified life coach with two Master’s degrees (and working on her third) who’s also writing a book, Melani interviewed me about my three markedly different careers (interior designer, art dealer, writer) and how I made those changes. (They’re not as random as one might think.) Most importantly, though, is Melani’s purpose in writing her book: She wants to help others succeed.

I think that’s fantastic, and I’m happy that I had a chance to talk with her.

Check out her blog post about our conversation!

 

 

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The Pinball Game Called Life

I’m sure most people believe that our personalities are shaped by how we were raised when we were young children. But I have a theory about how this actually happens.

Bonus news: My essay was just picked up by More Magazine’s website at more.com! Check it out here, or simply keep scrolling:

Personality Pinball

“Step right up, little ladies and lads, and play the pinball game called Life. Test yer skills to find out who you’ll be when you’re all growed up. Will ye be a teacher, a doctor, President of the U-nited States—or an outlaw bad as Jesse James hisself?”

I have a theory about life: When a child is born, it’s like she’s been shot into a pinball game, bouncing off this comment, garnering points for that inspiring teacher, bonus points for choosing wise and loving parents, or possibly falling into the vortex of bad luck. Game over! Everything that happens to a person—particularly a vulnerable child with a blank slate—affects who she will become as an adult. Some parents smother their babies with love, others smother their babies with pillows. Most parents, though, try to guide their children delicately into caring and inquisitive adolescents. Then, Heaven help us, they start middle school and meet other teenagers. We hope by that point that their scoreboard shows they’re off to a solid start in the pinball game of Life.

This theory helps explain why we remember only certain days or moments from our past. No one remembers the days before they could talk because they didn’t have words to assign to the memories. But once we have language, why don’t we remember everything we’ve ever experienced? The mundane stuff fades away, and what we’re left with is the highs and lows, the Bonus Point days, to carry on the analogy, or the Tilt days, if you will. The brain can hold only so much, so these memories become the factors that shape who we are and how well we respond to what life throws our way.

One stellar example is the biracial child from a shotgun marriage who grew up to be the most powerful man in the world. What did he hear, what did he experience, what is the one comment that someone made at the very moment he was most open to hearing it that propelled him into the White House?

“I’ll have what he’s having.”

I have four sons who are all wonderful human beings. But my sons, born less than six years apart, could not be more different as adults. What exactly did each of them hear, see and experience that turned them into the individuals they are today? How is it possible that they’re so different from each other? It’s possible because every child gets his or her own New Game.

My theory can also be used to understand strange or unique behaviors in others. The shy coworker? The angry neighbor? It’s easy to dismiss people as odd or rude, but often when you get to know a person, if they open up about their life or childhood it can help explain why they behave the way they do. Were they ridiculed by their parents, given too much or too little attention? Their pinball game shaped them the way yours shaped you. It has even become a cliché: psychiatrists often begin their analysis of a new patient with questions about her childhood.

And this leads us to the fact that Personality Pinball can be applied in retrospect. Our parents are our primary role models in life. And who did they emulate? Their parents, of course, with knowledge and experiences from two generations ago. No wonder all parents seem so backward to their children! It’s not until a woman becomes a mother herself that she realizes how difficult it is to be a parent—as well as how much our mothers love us. A new mom’s romantic ideals of “how to be the perfect parent” often dissolve to dust the first time their two-year old dissolves into tears in the check-out line at Target. That’s when, I believe, our earliest teachings surface, and the game begins again. The beauty is, though, it doesn’t have to. The moment a person realizes she isn’t a puppet but the puppet master, is a gift. When we are able to isolate specific values and behaviors from our childhood, we can add or remove those features from our children’s pinball machines. If our own parents yelled or hit us, if they were too strict or too lenient, we can consciously choose to eliminate those options from our family’s arcade.

Parents cannot nor should they strive to control every moment of their children’s lives. It might be nice, though, if young parents were taught how the pinball game called Life really works. And with any luck, if we learn to forgive our parents for embarrassing us throughout high school, maybe one day our children will forgive us.

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Like the Terminator, or the Exorcist

Forgive me, Followers; it’s been seven weeks since my last post. The last time we spoke, I was on my way to a writers’ conference in Jackson Hole.

So was it fantastic or horrible? Why did the trip silence you, Karolyn?

Ah, it was fantastic. The faculty, the guest writers, agents and editors, plus the other wanna-publish writers, everyone was friendly, helpful and extremely talented. I filled an entire legal pad with notes and quotes and ideas and more books to read. I got feedback on my work in progress (WIP) from four different people: three writers and an agent. Each weighed in with sage advice, some of it conflicting, but some comments were repeated by all. More than 100 writers attended the conference, and I made a few friends. I saw the dedication in their eyes that I see each morning in my bathroom mirror. From age 15 to 75, writers from across the country came to listen to the likes of Michael Perry, Anita Diamant, Dennis Palumbo, Lisa Bankoff, Robert Guinsler, Sarah Bowlin, Denise Scarfi, Katherine Sands, and many more.

In other words, it was intimidating.

The thing about being wanting to get published is this: nobody cares if you do. Seriously, nobody. Unless, I suppose, you have a family to support whom you’ve convinced that the only way you’ll ever be published is if you quit all other money making ventures to focus on your manuscript. They might care. But no one else will. Not agents, not publishers, not your friends. You know why? Because there are thousands upon thousands of other writers who will give them finished manuscripts.

But here’s the thing. The definition of a publishable novel varies as drastically as the definition of a good president. A newbie writer just has to find one person who thinks his/her book meets that definition. If that person’s not an agent or publisher, then the writer just puts it out as an ebook! Some writers have the confidence (or… stupi  naiveté) to put any work out into our glorious literary world with their name on it for eternity. Either I lack confidence, or I’m playing it smart. One day you will be able to judge.

So how does this explain my silence, and what does it mean for our future here?

Okay, I might have had a momentary (read: weeklong) lapse wherein I stopped writing, but then, like the storm that follows the calm, I woke one day with a screaming vengeance. I will not give up! (Winston Churchill taught me that.) But, I also learned that small publication credits will immeasurably boost my chances of having an agent take a second look at my query letter once it lands on his or her desk.

In other words, I’ve been cheating on my novel with a couple of non-fiction essays.

There, I said it.

I’ve also just returned from a weeklong plane/bus/automobile trip covering the northeast part of our beautiful country. Oh, the things we do for family.

But now, I’M BACK… and curious….

How do you recover from that overwhelming feeling of “Do I have what it takes to do this?” Whom do you call? What do you tell yourself? What is your motivation to follow your passion or simply fulfill your obligations? I look forward to reading your comments.

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Act Your Age!

How old are you? How old do you feel?

Your answers to those two questions might vary wildly, and that is something that fascinates me… to the point that I ask a lot people these two questions. Sometimes I get the sardonic, “I must be close to 90 based on my aches and pains,” (this by a forty-something with a bad knee). Usually people “feel” younger than they are, but the answers range from 17 – 70. This got me thinking: What factors into a person’s “mental age,” or “emotional age,” as compared to their physical age?

In a recent article in More magazine, the fabulous Anna Quindlen said, “Old is wherever haven’t gotten yet.” I agree with this. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve related a story to my husband (who is 12.5 years older than I am) about an old man, or an old woman. Inevitably, he’ll ask, “How old was the ‘old’ man?” and I’ll have to stammer my way through, “Uh, he’s about… your age.” As a writer, I should know better, but as a writer, I get to go back over my gaffs and edit out the lines that would bury me.

But most people I know don’t act their age. You know, an old soul, or someone who’s young at heart. So what gives?

On the recommendation of a friend, I listened to Rob Lowe’s Stories I Only Tell My Friends via audible.com. (I LOVE audible; I get to “read” books and workout at the same time.) His story is fun and fascinating, but the line that jumped out at me was, “There’s a school of thought that believes your emotional maturity is frozen at the exact age you become famous.” I grabbed onto that line because until then, I thought it was the other way around. (Mr. Lowe blames a lot on the fact that he became famous as a teenager.)

For example, I am 49, but I “feel” 35. My husband is 61, but I swear he doesn’t act a day over 17. What’s interesting is that we both had major life changes in those years. I think (or used to think; now I’m not sure) that our “fates” had a predetermined emotional age for each of us, and when we each hit our predetermined age, well, as the saying goes, the shit hit the fan.

Changes happen.

Adding to this conundrum, I have a son who’s 23, but he feels 40. He relates better to older people, he acts much older than he is, he even dresses more like Don Draper than his contemporaries. So what will happen to him when he hits his emotional age? Anything? Nothing? Should he fear it or look forward to it? Looking back under this theory, I think I always felt 35. Through high school and college, I never really fit in with my classmates. I dressed like a “mom” even when I was 20. I hated the bar scene! Of course, I had no way of knowing that it wasn’t until I was 35 that I would have the “strength” to make the changes my life desperately needed (yeah, we’re talking divorce). But which came first? The age or the event?

I have a saying: If timing is everything, and everything is relative, then timing is relative.
(Ok, not sure what that has to do with anything, but I thought I’d throw it in.) (The same goes for age, I suppose.)

So what about you? How old are you? How old do you feel? Did anything major happen in your life at your “emotional age”? Or do you anticipate anything happen when you reach it? Would you try to control it if you could? Which do you think comes first?

I love your comments, so please chime in!

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Truth & Beauty, by Ann Patchett

My latest review…

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/336356820

I believe this leaves only one Ann Patchett book left for me to read. Or maybe I’ll go back and read some of her novels over again.

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Publication is the Goal

I haven’t been honest with you, dear readers. But take heart because I haven’t been completely honest with myself either. Until now.

My last post was a sweet, esoteric, zen-rific ditty about “The Path Is the Goal.”

Yeah, no.

I mean, yes of course, the path is the goal… BUT, my ultimate goal is publishing my novel. I want to sell my novel. Period.

I have learned over the years that it’s vital for a person’s sanity to enjoy and appreciate the trek it takes to reach one’s goal; my last post was as much to remind myself of that as well as the millions of you reading along. In my case, it’s a curlicue path toward a golden bookstore, where I will pick my hardbound book up off the New Fiction shelf, and hold said book in my shaking hands. For you, it might be hearing your song on the radio, or buying a house, or landing your dream job, or walking up the aisle with your soulmate…

How many of you out there aren’t yet where you want to ultimately be? (I cannot see you  nod your head or raise your hands) (unless my spy camera is set to your IP address today). (In other words, leave a comment below if you’d like to chime in.) Dreams are fantastic; goals have a deadline. Deadlines bring out the best and the worst in me. They make me productive and make me strive for brilliance. They also make me crazy, which brings us back to The Path Is the Goal.

Each of us, I am sure, has had moments of blood, sweat, and tears (if you get that reference, you’re either a music buff or you’re as old as I am) throughout our lifetime when things haven’t gone as planned, or at least haven’t gone as quickly as planned. That is where my previous post comes into play. Not to sound too preachy here, but it is essential that you ENJOY the route you take to reach a goal of which you may or may not even realize is waiting for you to find it. By not enjoying LIFE until you reach your pre-determined milestone/goal/net worth, you could waste years being miserable and missing out on the beauty that you will pass along the way, as well as the lessons you are meant to learn as you go.

In other words, life is a highway balance. Like a teeter-totter. Walk the walk with one eye on the ultimate goal, and the other eye on the path. But be careful because the path can bend, twist, make a 90 degree turn, possibly to a better goal, one you might never even have imagined. And that may be where you are supposed to end up. As my soul-sister/literary idol Ann Patchett said in State of Wonder, “Never be so focused on what you’re looking for that you overlook the thing you actually find.”

When I was a little girl, I used to write poems and short stories, but I never once dreamed that one day I would be a writer, writing novels. Today, that is my happy dream, with a deadline. Which means… hasta luega, amigos. I’ve gotta go write!

What about you? What have you learned on your path through life? And what (I love this question) would you tell your younger, naive self?

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The Path Is The Goal

What kind of person would take an hour to blog when she has her first professional deadline zooming toward her like the Japanese Bullet train?

One exactly like me.

I am signed up for the Jackson Hole Writers Conference in June. I am, in equal parts, eager, excited, and dreading it. Very soon I need to submit the first 40 pages of a manuscript for critique (yeah, I paid extra for this pressure privilege). But am I happy with them? Not even close. I’ve been writing and rewriting those first pages for the last month. Now, mind you, the novel is currently 300 pages long (75% written, 100% outlined), but it’s those first 40 pages that are kicking my butt. Oh, I’ve thought they were strong and ready about ten times. Just ask my husband about our nightly conversations. “How did your writing go today, honey?” “Fantastic!” I would reply. “Today I rewrote the opening to my novel, and it’s so much better!” Then the next day: “How did your writing go today, honey?” “Awful! I scrapped the new opening to my novel.” Then the next day: “Fantastic!” Then: “Awful!” Yeah, not kidding here.

Here’s my problem: I’m teaching myself to write by reading the best authors in the world. How do you compare to the experts in your field? See? It’s like that.

But a friend of mine, Sabine Friesicke, one of my favorite artists who is much wiser than I, recently told me what she reminds herself while she’s painting. It’s an old Chinese proverb (those guys were really smart): The path is the goal.

Yes, Sabine, the Chinese, and I are all minimalists.

I’ve been writing for five years, and have completed three novels plus my work in progress, A Reasonable Price. I started out slow, “just an hour a day,” and I’ve progressed to 4-6+ hours a day, plus reading everything I can get my hands on. As my bio says, I read the classics (for the education) and I read debut novels (for the comparison). What kills me is that until my work starts sounding more like—well, not Nabokov—but “Ann Patchett meets Dennis Lehane”, then I am not going to be happy with it. It’s very difficult to remember that they had to start somewhere, and their debut novels undoubtedly needed the help of a great editor too. It’s the same comparison I drew about Steve Jobs and Me.

But here’s the kicker: No matter what happens in my publishing career (ooh, I like the sound of that), I am a better, happier person because of the path I’m on to get there. When I look back on the last five years of my life, I can see that I am a much, much happier, wiser, more centered person than I was when I was an art dealer. The beauty of writing is that when you slow down enough to think about what makes people (i.e. characters) (including and most importantly yourself) tick, then the world starts to make so much more sense. I have learned more about myself through my hours and hours of pecking at my laptop about my characters than I did in the four decades before that.

The path is the goal.

So, today’s lesson, peeps: Relax. Today is probably not your last day on Earth, so enjoy it and stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Every day is a privilege.

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What’s The Opposite of Prescient?

I was at lunch recently with my dear friend Larassa Kabel, aka. my personal John Galt, and she asked my if I ever felt prescient. Didn’t see that question coming! Alas, I rarely see anything coming. In fact, today I had another shining example of “I’m always the last to know!”

Writers often hear the advice: Write the novel you want to read. That’s what I’m doing with A Reasonable Price, my current work in progress. I read a lot, but few books, even the great ones, really speak to me. I love a plot-driven, emotional roller coaster of a book with characters you love to hate, e.g. The Talented Mr. Ripley by Patricia Highsmith. So I started poking around the internet in regards to antiheroes. Would you look at this list! This looks like the Mother List from where I’ve picked all my favorite books and movies (and a few I hated for the same reason (see American Psycho)). Who knew? I’m a sucker for an antihero. And indeed, I’ve got a terribly good one in A Reasonable Price.

I had a similar bonk on the head about a year ago when I was talking with New York Lit agent Jenny Bent about my last novel, and the same thing happened. She told me I write noir fiction. How did I not know that before she did?

In the art world, there is a category called Outsider Art. The term actually grew from the name art brut coined by French artist Jean Dubuffet to describe, among other things, art produced by insane asylum inmates, but I’m not going to touch that connection here. It does make me wonder though, if there’s an official category for Outsider Literature. (Wikipedia says no, but that I can ask for it to be created. Hmmm.) In essence, outsider art, and by extension, outsider literature is that which is created by untrained “artists.”

Yep, that’s me! And countless other authors who do not have Lit degrees or MFAs; I’m certainly not alone here.

All of this makes me wish, however, that I were Benjamin Button, living my life in reverse so that I could finally be prescient.

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The Itinerant Techie

Here I go again… literally. I’m moving my website… again.

I’d be happy to give you my online presence history, but I doubt you care that much.

It’s still at www.karolynsherwood.com, but now it’s hosted via WordPress. In the transfer, I lost a lot of photos and links, so I’ll work to get those back asap, and any other kinks should be fixed soon. Sorry for any confusion.

The brilliant guys, okay, Justin, at 8/7 Central in Des Moines did the hard work. The fun part—the blogging—is all me.

I think it’s fair to say that I love Apple more than they love me.