Failure or Success: Which is Worse?

Fear of failure is a common phrase. But there are so many quotes about picking up, moving on, learning from, and becoming better people because of our failures, that I wonder why should we fear it? And why should it stop us from trying our best at something?

More sensible yet less talked about is fear of success. Success changes everything, not always for the better. Think of people who win the lottery only to go broke again, or actors who become movie stars and lose their privacy. Think of the winners of the Biggest Loser and the scrutiny they’re under to stay slim. Think of Mark Zuckerberg who now has 20 Billion things to worry about. Think of aspiring authors who like the quiet life of being a writer, then get shot out of a cannon into the public eye when their novels get published.
Then again, fame and money are so fleeting that maybe the real test is whether or not you can hold on for the brief flight.
Yes, that’s it: Success is like a bull riding.
Excuse me while I go look for my cowboy boots.

Write What You WANT to Know

There are many American axioms that, like stereotypes, are prevalent because they are true: Location, location, location; Time will tell; Never underestimate the power of body language; and my new favorite: Research, research, research.

Me, in Jackson
I recently spent a week in Jackson, Wyoming because that is the location of my work in progress (WIP). I wrote an entire novel set in Jackson because I’ve long held a romantic vision of the West. I completed the novel (300 pgs) with a story, start to finish, based on Google Maps, Google Earth and Wikipedia. As any good teacher would tell an aspiring writer, “Don’t do that!”
Actually, it’s not a bad way to start a story, but the novel would have been a joke if I had never gone to Jackson at all.
Annie Proulx, of Brokeback Mountain fame, sets many of her stories in her home state of Wyoming. In her work, the setting is as strong as any main character. Ms. Proulx must get the details perfect because they are vital. Ann Patchett set her most popular novel, Bel Canto, in an “unnamed South American country.” That’s one way to do it ~ be so vague that no one can contest the details. While in Jackson, I learned that C.J. Box (who also lives in Wyoming) set one of his mysteries in Jackson specifically. I bought Out of Range so that I could see how a famous, published author dealt with the details of the same town I chose in his work. (He was also very vague.)
Setting can be as vital or unimportant in any story as the writer choses. But if a writer choses a specific location, he/she better get the details correct. While my storyline was solid and valid, I got many details of the setting incorrect from the information I garnered on the web (I didn’t expect to have them perfect, I only wanted the framework. I always intended to visit the town). If I had never set foot in Jackson, anyone who’d ever been there (10,000 residents + 3 MILLION visitors per year!) would have thrown my book down in disgust. “She’s obviously never even been there,” they would have said.) Because I spent nearly a week in Wyoming, I was able to correct the details and polish my novel, and it is crucially better for the effort.
Some would suggest visiting the location of one’s work first. I can see the validity in that. Others might say you really need to live someplace for an extended period of time before you can get the true feeling of a location. I’m sure that’s true, too, in certain instances. Again, it depends on how important the setting is to the novel. But the one thing I know for sure is, whether you write about your home town, or you visit the place you write about, a writer MUST know what he/she is talking about first hand. The same philosophy applies to the characters’ occupations, hobbies, lifestyles. If you write about a baseball player, you darn well better know something about baseball. Some say, “Write what you know.” I say, “Write what you want to know,” just be sure to learn all about it before you finish the book.
Most people seem to agree that too much description of a place or a person can hamper the reader’s experience. For the most part, readers don’t really care what color the wallpaper is in a room, or weave of the carpet, or how many columns are on the front of the mansion. On the same line, most readers don’t want too much medical or job-specific jargon. What people want is an engaging story. The details must enhance the story, but not overwhelm it or be so inaccurate as to turn off readers who know more than the author.
Novels are entertainment. If a writer wants to draw his/her readers into a new world, he must find the perfect balance between an enveloping atmosphere, realistic characters and an engaging plot that will grab the reader on page one and never let them go. But we writers can entertain ourselves at the same time, can’t we?
Research is not a dirty word. Think of it as making you a smarter person.

A Writer’s Silver Platter

When is the last time you counted your blessings? Is it possible to prioritize them?

Health might be the most important, neck and neck with family; food is a necessity, as is financial security; intelligence cannot be minimized or taken for granted—and with that, education; and don’t forget love. No, this is not an impostor sitting in for Karolyn… who only a few short years ago might have mentioned new black pumps, Prada purses and pearls. Now all I want is to be published—and to retain the aforementioned blessings.

Why do I not have a whiskey in my hand?

As I type this, I’m sitting in a beautiful Colorado home, where my husband and I will spend the next week. He’ll be drinking coffee and reading. I’ll be transcribing pages and pages of notes I took last week when we were lucky enough to spend the week in Jackson Hole, Wyoming on my research trip for my current novel… the one I wrote while we spent the winter in Costa Rica.

Please forgive me here, I’m not bragging. This admission scares the shit out of me.

I spent eight years as an art dealer with an evermore lucrative art gallery (i.e. it started out paying me zero, and ended up paying me a monthly pittance). When the moment came to re-up my lease or close, I closed it so we could travel and I could begin writing. Now I’m back to being paid zero.

The scary part is that I have every opportunity and every bit of the responsibility. I have been given the Writer’s Silver Platter: a laptop, a location, loving support and lots and lots of quiet time. When I publish, I will have so many people to thank: my husband for his unending support, my parents for my brain and their encouragement, my children for growing up and leaving the nest, and countless friends who’ve given me so much encouragement and advice (specifically my former artists and Twitter friends who will not let me quit). But no excuses, and no one to blame if I can’t make this happen.

So, now I must produce. I have counted my many blessings, and I’m ready to test my skills. By October 1st, I will be querying agents for “Invented Lives.” Get ready World, here I come.

Who Do You Write Like?

Who or whom? Either way, the rule now says. (Ok, not Strunk & White, but somewhere I read that modern day sloppiness is more and more acceptable, but that’s another post.)

There’s a very cool web site called I Write Like. It analyzes your word choice and writing style and compares them with those of the famous writers.” You can cut & paste your fiction, emails, poems, love letters, anything, I think, except for Tweets.


So I tried it with my WIP, three times, for good measure. My first comparison said I write like Stephen King. Wow! I can see that, but I don’t think Mr. King needs to worry yet. My second comparison: J.K. Rowling. Really? Unbelievable! I’ll start telling agents that. (Even better, for the record, none of my characters’ names are made up words or difficult to pronounce.) My third comparison—I guess I was going for two out of three—Stephen King again. Maybe he should start to worry…

Are you curious to see to whom you compare? I am curious to know if you agree with your results. Please let me know what you find out. I appreciate your comments.

What’s A Normal Family?

Ah, families. So much love, so much happiness, so much dysfunction.

I just spent a week with my husband and his ex-wife. Well, it was their daughter’s wedding, so it wasn’t just the three of us. More like a hundred of us. And you know what? It was wonderful.

When I was a little girl, my mother answered an ad in our local newspaper. A pollster was looking for a “normal” family to interview. She of course thought we were as normal as anyone, but we didn’t qualify because she was a single mother raising three kids. They wanted a married couple with children. No way could they get away with that today.

And nuclear family? Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Get a group of only blood-relatives together, and it will explode like an atom bomb. Merry Christmas, loved ones.

I fully applaud and support gay marriage, and single men or women who want to raise kids on their own. And with the divorce rate what it is today, my husband and I realize that potentially 3 or 4 of our 7 kids might end up divorced. We hope not, we’re just being realistic. After all, if it weren’t for divorce, he and I wouldn’t be together—this is a second marriage for both of us. Divorce is a hell in which you either lose a lot of money or a lot of friends. And yet, sometimes, it’s still the best option.

So what is “normal” these days?

One of the reasons that people read books is to explore feelings they can relate to. When a writer can put into words exactly how YOU feel, and you can say “Yes, exactly!”, then, in one regard, the book is a success. But another reason people read is to explore worlds they are unfamiliar with—escapism, if you will. While mining ideas, emotions, scenarios and story lines, it’s important for us writers to remember that the definition of family is wide and varied, and to not stereotype or pigeonhole people. In fact, it’s a beautiful story when a “traditional” family evolves into a “modern” family—when people see love instead of prejudice. Yes, it’s been done (from Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner to The Kids Are All Right) because it works, and it’s beautiful.

With any luck, we writers can help erase the stereotypes and pigeonholes for the definition of family. Hello, Webster’s? Are you listening?

Finding Your Voice

We are not alone. Not only is that a reference to a great book/blog/support group all headed by Kristen Lamb, but it follows with the theory that there is nothing new under the sun. Some of my most brilliant lines, ideas and blog posts (which I think are TOTALLY new), I later discover have been said before. Hmmm.

For instance, in March of this year, I wrote a brilliant post titled My Third MFA. I walked around for a week with a smile about how witty I was. (Unfortunately, you can’t see all the positive comments because Apple erased them!) But just yesterday, I read a post titled My Private MFA by Randy Susan Meyer about the very same thing. Granted, I wrote mine months ago, but hers put me back where I belong. She is—at this moment—singing “Anything you can do, I can do better.” She’s done the same as me, but she’s already published. Bravo, Randy!

The truth about an MFA is this: If you have the time, patience, money and open mind to pursue an MFA it will teach you how to write. If not, you either have to be brilliant or you have to be persistent and self-motivated. (I consider myself two out of those three.) But, perhaps more importantly, a master’s degree in writing will help a writer find her voice by practicing all kinds of writing and then deciding what feels best before starting a 90,000 word novel.

My first novel, Any Day Now, was written in First Person POV by a female protagonist. How in the world did I think of that?! My second novel, On A Midnight Street, was Third Person POV about a male protagonist. (Please see this post to find out why the hell I thought I could do that.) My current WIP is omniscient. I’ve recently read and loved and been influenced by two books (specifically Bel Canto) by Ann Patchett written from the omniscient POV. This is exactly why they say that writers must be readers. And we are not only supposed to enjoy other books, we’re supposed to study, analyze, and learn from them.

Recently, I was speaking to a brilliant young man (ahem, okay, my son Elliott Krause) about the pros and cons about different POVs. Elliott, if I may, just graduated Phi Beta Kappa from KU with majors in English and Psychology. He was accepted at the University of Iowa (#1 writing school in the country) into their Non-fiction Masters program. He’s becoming a writer the traditional (right?) way. I’m trying to sneak in the back door. But what I realized after that conversation, is that I am still—in the midst of my fourth novel— finding my voice. I would like to think that this is the one. It certainly feels better than any of the others, but it remains to be seen if this becomes my writing voice permanently, or if I return to 1st or 3rd POV.

I’ve been writing now, more and more hours each day, for 4 years. Not quite at my 10,000 hours yet, but well on my way. The good news is that I LOVE writing, so I’m having the time of my life.

For you writers out there, how did you find your voice? From school—writing required papers for teachers. Or from reading? Or did you just start writing and assume whatever came out of your finger tips was right? How many of you writers have experimented with all the POVs to find your voice? Is it predicated by the story, or by the author?

The Trouble With Blogging

Do you know me? If you’ve been following along over the past year, year and a half, two years that I’ve been blogging, you probably know me better than some of my friends (can they really be called friends if they’re not reading my blogs?). I tend to reveal too much. I don’t have many secrets or evil thoughts—and the ones I do have I save for my novels (which you haven’t read yet because I’m too much like Salinger: I like to write too much to stop long enough for publication)(yep, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it). But back to my point. If you know me, then you know my trouble with blogging.

I talk too much!

Especially after my coffee, which I call Truth Serum. Which I have just drank drunk consumed.

Take for instance my last post, below, How To Write A Bad Review. It’s not a bad post, but I could have gone on for hours about how it might apply to, for instance, bosses: How to give a bad review to an employee. Or to parents: How to straighten your kids out without alienating them. Or even to friends or spouses: How to tell someone you love something they’re doing wrong and still have them walk away from your conversation knowing you love them and making them think they’re good people who can do better. But then I just stopped writing because…

When I get deep into a really good thought for a blog post, it makes me crazy that I’m not working on my novel! It’s the same with reading a good book. I want to read, but more importantly, I want to write! I know the experts say we’re supposed to blog 3x/week, but I’d usually rather spend that time writing.

Allison Scotch Winn wrote an excellent post about how she does it all: writer, blogger, mom, wife. She is whom I aspire to be. But for now, I’m going to go work on my novel which I love and can’t stop writing.

Does anyone out there feel they have found a good balance with all the activities they like to do? Please tell me your secrets!

How To Align Your Own Stars

Recently I was talking to one of my sons about his future. (We talk Big Picture around here.) He’s a bright child and has high aspirations. However, it seemed to me that he was waiting for it to all fall in place one day—a dream rather than a goal. In my most gentle, motherly voice I said, “You have to MAKE it happen.”

I learned that from Twitter.

And Malcolm Gladwell, and my mother, and life in general, I suppose. I referenced Malcolm Gladwell’s book, The Outliers, and my son casually pulled an unread copy from his bookshelf. So he’s not clueless, he’s just busy being a kid. I summarized it like this: “It takes 10,000 hours to be really good at something. Spend the first three hours reading the book.”

“I began writing novels in 2007,” she says with a sheepish smile. “Why am I not published yet?”

Every writerly blog I now read describes my story to a T on their What Not To Do blogs. It’s laughable because I know that there is so much more to know, and I hope to keep learning until the day I die (another 30 or 40 years, please).  Years from now I’ll re-read this post and laugh at my self-proclaimed wisdom on 7/18/11. But I am nothing if not persistent. Just today, for instance, I discovered ROW80, and in trying to add their badge to this blog, I discovered bunches of other cool stuff to add. I feel so professional! I’m sure somewhere out there is a blog about how to create blog, but I haven’t found it yet. But today I am one step closer to being a professional writer.

When I was an art dealer, many of my artists asked me how to become rich and famous. My answer was, “The tools are easy; it’s the details that’ll kill ya.” Here are the stars that must align to become successful in any career:

1. Talent: The more natural your aptitude, the less effort it will take, but fortunately talent can be learned. After an honest and concerted effort, consult multiple experts in your field and ask them for advice and if they think you have talent. Whether or not you listen to what they say depends on your passion for your chosen goal. Don’t give up too soon!  However, there are some  instances where it’s better to change your goals than kill yourself trying to be successful at a pipe dream; i.e. a wannabe basketball star might become a coach; a wannabe painter might try sculpture; a wannabe novelist might write non-fiction. Remember: There’s a fine line between persistence and insanity—at some point, reality should prevail.
2. Time: Winning the lottery is the ubiquitous example of people looking for the shortcut. But even those who win the lottery have usually been playing for years and paying thousands of dollars along the way. Imagine if you spent all that time and money on education, training or buying books to read about making yourself successful instead of putting all your hope in randomness. 10,000 hours = 40 hr/week for 5 years. Or, if your doing this in your spare time, 10,000 hours = 20 hr/week for 10 years. READ. PRACTICE. BE PATIENT.
3. Luck: Ah, lady luck. Oprah doesn’t believe in luck. Well, Oprah, I do. Yes, I believe we can make our own luck through preparation, but I was repeatedly amazed in the art world when the right collector stumbled upon the right piece by the right artist; bought the piece; showed it to other collectors and museum people; and the artist’s career took off.

Success. Simple as that.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a few more hours to put in.

Are You Drawn To Danger?

Why do people go to scary movies and ride roller coasters?

Why do people read thrillers and watch crime dramas?

What is it about fear and adrenaline that people seek out for enjoyment?
I find this very interesting. If I wrote articles for magazines, I’d be interviewing experts right now. (And hopefully getting paid for this stuff.) I imagine they’d say that humans are getting in touch with their fight-or-flight instincts. Since we no longer encounter lions, tigers and bears on a daily basis, no longer have to tap into that which proves we are survivors and heros, these modern day thrills are the closest many of us will ever get to testing our instincts of survival. That’s important for some people, I suppose. It might even explain why the target audience for really scary movies (think the Halloween franchise), is young people, specifically young males. They are the perfect age for proving their virility. And where there are boys, there are girls. (Otherwise, what would be the point?)
But what’s so bad about calm? What’s so bad about peace and serenity? Yogis are happy people. The elderly (when they’re not worried about health or money issues) are generally happy people. They (we) no longer need to prove themselves this way. Hollywood must have figured this out long ago; I’m only just now analyzing it. The types of movies, books and thrills one seeks out says a lot about a person, if you think about it. Very interesting, indeed. Who needs Meyers-Briggs if you can just analyze a person’s history of choices.
As writers, we need to (we get to) decide what to include, what not to include in our work, and who our target audience is. You can’t please all the people all the time, so you got to please yourself. (Song lyrics for 100, Alex.) That’s the hardest part—what to include and what not to include. That’s also the fun part. In fact, that’s the point of fiction!
Next question: Why do people do drugs and smoke cigarettes? Well, that’s probably escapism… mixed with stupidity.

Could It Be True?

There’s a first for everything. Is that true?

Yesterday I had to scrap 18,000+ words on my current novel due to information I learned when interviewing my experts. Yesterday was a taste of Hell: Square One. (Thankfully no fire or men in red suits carrying pitchforks).

I have just written a preliminary synopsis for my NEW novel. (It has been highly recommended by many to know how the book ends before you actually begin. Thank you Larry Brooks @storyfix for one.) I actually got to the end of the synopsis and NO ONE got murdered or hit by a car or even went to jail.

Am I slipping? Losing my nerve? I think not. This is crafty. I like it!

But I won’t change my bio yet. You all know how these characters can surprise you before it’s over.